A thought

I'm nearly finished at Illinois State University and will soon move to a small blueberry farm with two great friends from my time in Micronesia. So much excitement fills me when I think about the months ahead. Yet, I know they'll be short months, and something needs to come after. With that in mind, I've started poking around, contemplating where I'll go next and what I'll do there. AmeriCorps is standing out to me, so I put together an application and asked around for references. One of the people I contacted was a Peace Corps staffer who I got to know during my service. She was willing to do that for me, and shockingly quickly. In her response to my request Janeen said a couple things that got me reflecting, and here's what came out:

"Janeen,
Thank you so much for filling out and submitting that reference. And so quickly! I really appreciate your time and willingness to help. I consumed more than my fair share of both during the final months of my service, which just makes it that much kinder for you to extend yourself on my behalf now. Thank you.

In case you're interested, a link for the position I've applied to is below. I've no doubt it will be wildly different than Peace Corps, and amazing in its own right. This job is at an intentional living community, populated by families, young and old, and adults with developmental disabilities. Really an integrated place, though I'd suspect the people there might be somewhat homogeneous in terms of perspectives, politics, etc. Sustainable agriculture and interwoven labor, community, craft and celebration of Life are core values, which no doubt sounds pretty crunchy but also an absolutely delightful place to spend a year or two. They have 'volunteer' opportunities available for farm apprentices too, outside of AmeriCorps that I'll probably apply for. Will definitely let you know if they offer me a position.

https://my.americorps.gov/mp/listing/viewListing.do?id=5000

The U.S. has certainly looked and felt different since coming back. Nuance. My perspective was profoundly infused with nuance. There are more blemishes and more sore spots, but they're thrown into contrast by greater depths of beauty and appreciation. I love my home more and more honestly than I did before, but I also take it to task more often and more honestly. I think you're right when you say, 'maybe you can never go back.' The person who flew out of L.A. in September 2009 isn't the same guy who left Micronesia in August 2011, and that's the difference. You can never really go back, not because home is any different or isn't there, but because the person who left home isn't here anymore, not fully. And it's precisely a result of that 'tremendous and irreplaceable' gift received during Peace Corps: Life. I've more Life in me, more humanity, and brought more of both back to the States. Some of it is hard and wearisome, but mostly it's invigorating, joyful and driving. I'm grateful for that, filled with gratitude for the people of Woleai, Houk, Yap, Chuuk and Pohnpei, gratitude for Peace Corps, for you and all the shoali Peace Corps lani faliuwashe (people of Peace Corps in our islands).

That's pretty gushy, sorry. I got into a reflective moment after reading your email. It elicited some thoughts that have been swirling around for a few months now, and just coalesced in the response. I'll keep it more levelheaded in the future.

Thank you again, Janeen,
Be well,
Porter"