Monday, July 18, 2011

So long, Sweet Misery


So Long, my misery
I don't need you
You've only caused me grief
Forgive me if I fall asleep
I haven't slept in centuries

Daylight lives like a burden for me
So I escape
Sent it strewn about the street
Beyond the ruins of my ancestry
Far past the pages of my disbelief
I rose from my moat
Like a ghost from a grave
Sunken in the salty eyes of the wandering displaced
I was heading through the mist across the golden gate
All of my rebellions fall into the fog of fate

So long my misery
I don't need you
You've only caused me grief
Forgive me if I fall asleep
I haven't slept in centuries

Spring time came again
And Icarus fell
I flew past the numb lipped nuns who'll never tell
The secrets of the sailors and their seven year spell
I will not fall, nor will my wings ever melt
If I could I would wash all these wounds away
I would surround your room with a sense of mental grace
I would paint your portrait over everything mundane
More colorful than Easter Sunday

So long my misery
I don't need you
You've only caused me grief
Forgive me if I fall asleep
I haven't slept in centuries

Put me on a boat
Leave my inhibitions at bay
My mind is spilling
But I haven't much to say
I was running through the canyons
Pulse the echoes of your name
You were laughing at me like
The sun laughs at a flame
Put me on a page in a book of beginnings
Let me scroll me through old volumes of ancient teachings
Let me reveal in all of these forgotten feelings
Lay me with the wretched in the arms of my queen

So long sweet misery
I don't need you
You've only caused me grief
Forgive me if I fall asleep
I haven't slept in centuries
No I haven't slept in centuries
I haven't slept in centuries

-Brett Dennen

Sunday, July 17, 2011

High times on Weno Isle

Here are some photos from June up to now. From my first couple days hanging out with and saying good-bye to the Jesuit Volunteers who have finished their service, to seeing fellow PCV Andrea and her family, to walking around Weno (including a the rubble from a burned down legislative building), to meeting a couple of summer volunteers (Tara and Kelly) who are staying with the JVs, to our 4th of July BBQ, to Megan's birthday, to the first meal Tara and Kelly cooked (delicious pasta, and they said they can't cook, psssh), to saying good-bye to Alex (our third year PCV leader and great friend), to cleaning the JVs' apartment (SO many batteries), to meeting Charles' friend Paul who's currently visiting, to a night out at the Blue Lagoon. There have been some wonderful moments spent with tremendous people here on Weno, and there have been some sad times saying good-bye to those who have gone home. All-in-all it's been a time of rejuvenation for me, and I'm feeling much better these days, gearing up to head home myself, and then to Normal (or as close as I can get to it--gonna be living in Bloomington, probably--zing!).















































Sunday, July 3, 2011

A time of excitement, uncertainty and a booty full of unexpected change

The dutiful reader of this blog will note that my service on Houk didn't go uber-smoother. More like the choppiness of neighborhood pool after Big Franky does a cannonball from the high dive... and the water was simultaneously impacted by a meteorite. Just setting the context here.

And so, it was decided that an early close-of-service date (official end of Peace Corps term) was the best option for me. Instead of completing two full years as a Volunteer and twenty-six months total in Peace Corps Micronesia, I will end at one-year-nine-months as a PCV and twenty-three months total in the FSM (COS on August 8th, 2011). When I was applying, training, starting service--I figured, if anything, I'd extend for a third year. Also thought I'd stay in the same place the whole time. Things change, and the changes aren't always easy to anticipate.

A final project for the summer was planned--a workshop in long-range lesson planning for the teachers from Houk--and then the capital 'r', Return trip to Boise. The end of Peace Corps. Thought I'd just head straight home on August 8th. Then I heard from my buddy, Eriks--fellow Yap PCV. He's COSing early too and figures we ought to spend some time in Pohnpei together and get on the same flight to the States: 'rewards' (our term for brews) on the trip home.

Eriks' plan sounded great to me, and then I thought, "Why not stop by Honolulu too, see Pete (oldest friend)?" Plans formed, schedules were decided and I was looking at spending August 8th to the 15th in Pohnpei with Eriks, the 15th to the 22nd in Honolulu with Pete. After that, on to Boise for the fall and winter--readjust, come to terms with my issues (at least to a workable degree), catch up with family and friends, sip some tasty rewards--and in January head to Illinois to finish my MA.

Good plan, no? Simple, economical, flexible. Should be easy to stick to, right? Nope.

Well, I updated the folks at Illinois State as to my situation: early COS, time at home, planned return to ISU in the spring '12, thesis plans, etc. The response I got shook everything up. No guaranteed tuition/stipend funding for JUST the spring '12, but a potential internship for the full school year, starting fall '11 (that's next semester, by the way). Truly, an internship with a domestic development agency in the Bloomington-Normal area is EXACTLY what I wanted: work experience, community engagement, another chance to ponder a job and figure out whether it's for me or not. I said I was interested and started reforming my travel plans.

Told Eriks I'd have to cut a few days out of Pohnpei, leave the 12th instead of the 15th. Still need to tell Pete Honolulu isn't a possibility anymore.

The internship offer was dependent on whether my thesis work during Peace Corps warranted continued funding, as decided by my thesis committee (profs helping with/reviewing my work)--something I had my reasons to be concerned over, considering the epic failure of my thesis. Turns out they said I should be funded, but the potential agency pulled its offer to host an intern.

HOWEVER, Dr. Beck, the director of my program, needs an assistant for his research and community projects--a position they could GUARANTEE me, if I accepted. I accepted.

The assistantship is better, in some cool ways, than the kind of work I might have done in an internship. I get to work with Dr. Beck (great guy) and I'll get a broader experience in the best work environment I can imagine--love the Stevenson Center staff! I won't be able to do the position as an AmeriCorps volunteer, which would have been sweet and financially beneficial, but that's easy enough to survive without.

The rub is... I have to be in Normal and READY TO WORK starting August 22nd, the day I had planned on returning to Boise.

Since then, I've arranged for a ticket to Pohnpei on the 8th, then to Boise on the 10th (still get two days with Eriks), and I'm planning to get to Normal on the 20th. I've got the ball rolling for an apartment, my folks know about the change in plans, and I guess the rest will be sorted out on the fly.

I've accepted the fact that nothing I planned during Peace Corps has followed or will follow any sort of a reliable script. Every time I think I'm past the point of last minute surprises, something changes, often in a major way. It's not bad, but it presents challenges, fosters anxiety and doubt. It also presents amazing opportunities, possibilities that are worth the difficulties, and even the difficulties are not without value.

Fortunately, the logistics for moving to Normal ten days after returning to the US are starting smoothly. Found a nice apartment in Bloomington (away from the under grad crowd but within an easy bike ride of Normal): one bedroom and affordable enough (little worried about the size of the place, though, so BIG). What am I going to do with TWO rooms and THREE closets? I doubt I could fill even A closest with what I'll take out there.

Other than the apartment, I don't know that I have much to figure out for school at this point. Place to live, a job, a map to the nearest burrito joint and liquor store; what else could I ask for? Might need some more professional clothes.... Does anyone know, is a loin cloth business casual?