Humble Dream

Reading on the bus this morning, a great book called Metal Cowboy by Joe Kurmaskie (thanks, Holly!), I read the following passage: "Have you ever felt as if you were moving through life in slow motion? The guy who hits the snooze button long after he should be out the door? I'm talking about the hapless loser who never grasps the fact that life is not a dress rehearsal. Ever felt like you were about to miss the boat? So have I." Stopped reading and started thinking. The following resulted:

There is something incredibly humbling about trying and failing. It slaps you in the face with your own limitations, forces you to accept you are not a diamond in the rough. You are not The Rookie just waiting for that perfect moment. You're not the guy who never got or took the chance, who in his twilight stands up, one final first time to demonstrate his worth and unique ability. Drew Barrymore in Never Been Kissed, that isn't you. You're not even the heir apparent starter beaten out by Robert Redford.

Who you are is the kid showing up to try-outs, getting your chance, making the team and never seeing the field. The other players are better. You're a bright-eyed, idealistic youth going to college to learn the ways of this world and start making changes. Instead, you graduate with a mediocre GPA and take a job punching the clock, pushing reports for some mid-level, unknown firm producing bottle caps. Unable to take on the world, you battle your own unfulfilled time and bully paper products.

This leaves you with not a few options. One, blame others, circumstance or accident for your failures: "If my shoe hadn't come off or Tommy made his block, I'd have made that last yard and gotten my shot at the big time." Two, attempt to live vicariously through someone else to reclaim your lost dreams: "My son was BORN to play the piano! Don't listen to this childish computers and video games garbage." Three, broken and depressive self-loathing leading to a lonely, hardly lived or acknowledged life: "TV dinner and bottle of whiskey for one, please." Four, all manner of social/emotional/mental disorders: "One Flew Over the Coocoo's Nest, anyone?" Five, own your limitation, which is to say own yourself and your life.

You couldn't win the big game for your school or bring peace to the Middle East or be the first woman on Mars. You're still alive, fully human and with myriad abilities and a heap of potential. Whether you're the most renowned astro-physist or working in a small lab, dominating the polo field or just playing rec softball in the summers, vying for the presidency of the U.S. or speaking up at a townhall meeting, there's something more needed. A intentional drive towards living an engaged life, mindful of both strengths and weaknesses. The respect you have for yourself will far outstrip any you get for an unparalleled talent, latent or ever-present, because it's genuine. Sure as hell isn't easy. Few things hurt like honesty or letting go, and equally few enable you to truly Live the Dream.