Rose Mary Reidhaar

My grandmother passed away this past Wednesday. Aggressive cancer. She stood up to it stalwartly, as was her way. Her daughters were with her, and the end was peaceful. I was lucky to be able to talk with her one last time, the weekend before she passed. We share a few, precious words. It was deeply moving, and a rare gift to share with her.

It's a sad thing, but we can take solace in knowing Gramma was able to reconnect with many, including her brother, over her final months. She was wrapped in love, and there's not much else we could ask for.

My father wrote a really nice piece about her, which I'd like to share here.

My mother-in-law could be tough and fierce in her way.  She had the ability freeze me in my tracks with just a look or pointed question.  She also had strong ideas about how things should be done, or not be done, and how a son-in-law might be savable. She seldom missed a chance to guide and advise me in her Rose Mary approved methods.  I learned to listen, really listen, to her during those teaching moments. 

The fierceness often masked her deep feelings for her children and others.  My wife Barbara related a story that touched me.  Barbara, as a young girl, had broken her glasses at the nose bridge.   Replacement glasses were well beyond the family budget at the time, but Barbara could not see without them.   Rose Mary worked all night fixing those cat-eyed specs.  She glued the break, carefully wrapping color-matched thread to reinforce the repair, and coated the thread with nail polish to further hide the fix.  That she would go to those lengths for her daughter is something that Barbara and I will always remember.  

Over the years, I came to recognize a hard won earnestness in her that we both shared.  An awareness of how things can go terribly wrong and that fierce commitment to protect those you love.  I was finally on to her game!

On a visit some time ago, I noticed that she and I also shared a love of books.  I was checking out her bookshelves and found many classics along with newer books that illustrate the human condition.  I told her I was impressed with her small library and she said she had read some of them over and over.   I later told Barbara about the Great Books-based programs that are offered at some colleges and universities around the country, and that her mom had likely earned the equivalent of a college degree through her readings.  I am glad that Barbara shared that with Rose Mary.  I will miss her.

Oh, and Rose Mary, I really am sorry I backed your car into that shrub.

--David