Nov. 5th-8th, '10--Riding the Nien Chuuk

Here are photos from my ride in from on a fishing boat. Took four days, visited four islands, landed on three of them. It was pretty freakin' cool. Hope you like the pics!

Once a role model

I was once a role model. Burgeoning Peace Corps Volunteers, bound for Micronesia and the many fascinating discoveries to made therein would search for their country of service on Google, on Youtube, on PeaceCorpsJournals.com. They found many blogs--some more well updated than others--some pictures, and a few videos. Some of this interweb media happens to have been generated by myself. The earliest of it radiated joy and fulfillment. More recently it's taken a turn for the somber. As was mentioned in an earlier post, at least one current PCV found himself excited at the possibility of emulating my service. Now... when I consider what I've accomplished/failed to accomplish, I come to a particular conclusion. I am both exactly what every incoming trainee should strive to be and nothing that any future Volunteers should hope to become.

On the rock solid side, I've persevered through hardship (not the pinnacle of hardship by any means, though) and stuck with Peace Corps--even still revering what Peace Corps does/strives to do. I've shared my experience to the best of my ability with people back in the States. My outlook on Micronesia has remained, by and large, sunny. Deep relationships have formed between host country locals and myself. I've learned and participated in several local cultural skill-events. I'm strongly considering a third year of service. I'm on good terms with my fellow PCVs and PCMicro staff. My language skills are conversational, for my original placement site. Outlook for the next year is highly optimistic. I'm physically healthy.

On the 'don't do as I do' side of things, I've moved sites, and due to that move (as well as personal shortcomings) I've hardly seen any achieved progress over the past five and a half months. I've lost a close friend, whose death is still surreal yet ever-present. My doubts, fears, frustrations, cynicism, ambivalence, and sadness are at all time highs (save for those 'heart break recovery' moments of adolescence/young adulthood). I'm in no better position to make a positive impact on my community than I was before I swore-in as a PCV. Withdrawing (from everybody and every place imaginable) has become one of my primary habits. My pride has me wanting to be known as a so-called 'super volunteer' while my self-loathing has me wishing I'd be revealed as the sham of a PCV that I am. I disappoint myself on a daily basis, so thoroughly, I'm not even upset, I'm impressed. I get lost in daydreams of what life would be like, had I been assigned to another country. My parents are worried about me, my future, and how I'll continue on with life, from this experience.

A very limited, select few, of my fellow Americans have wished to 'be me'. I hope they find the irrational Peace that is enveloping my life, but I hope they avoid so much of my experience in the Peace Corps.

A Day in Houk

October '10 - Houk: The Return

Holy Houk! Let's start with Houk Constitution Day, including my host cousin Stan sporting a bra and machete while conducting songs. Whoo! Having a constitution, yeah! Quick pics of the following feast and men's circle (a rarity on Houk, as it is a 'dry' island--we drank yeast, brewed STRONG). Follow with a walk around the island--primary interest = baby coconut crab. Check out my room. Then a back-to-school bbq, which they called the 'Farewell BBQ'. Go figure. Photos from around my family compound and the island finish this picture party off, including my 'weight room' (the assorted metal/concrete items in the yard), a miniature tree made from wood shavings and coconuts husk fibers, church and community center shots, my cheeky and ultra-traditional loincloth photo, school photos and some cool looks 'round the is-land.

A Sea- and Wayfaring Volunteer

The John Butler Trio - "Nowhere Man"
Live music video

I’m in, and I’m out
Alien from somewhere else
Don’t know what the hell
I be on about
But from here and there
I belong nowhere

Seem so many know the name
Now things don’t seem to be the same
But they are some how
Cause all my life I lived on the outside
And now I’m in, but in nowhere

Nowhere Man
Nowhere Man
Nowhere Man
Nowhere Man

Strangely enough I’m more
like a lone tree
I love those forests
but alone better suits me but
I love to share just like the pollen loves to be free
And flying in through the air
nowhere better suits me

Somewhere down deep inside of me
I guess I always wanted to
be part of that we
And now I found that in my family
And now I’m happy just to be

Nowhere Man
Nowhere Man
Nowhere Man
Nowhere Man